As I was pondering this: “ How can one enjoy caregiving?” It brought to my mind that there should be change in Mindset towards caregiving. We need to address the STIGMA.
There are stigma in education as well and I would like to draw some parallel. During this week, students who have obtained their O level results would be considering whether to go for polytechnic or junior college. Few would even consider vocational schools like (ITE) Institute of Technical Education. To gain a better understanding of ITE, I went there with my daughter to find out more about the ITE. We had the privilege to meet a school volunteer who is very active in grassroot work besides pursuing an education there. As a senior, he explained in details and addresses our questions with sincerity. Also, my younger daughter shared that during her first week there, there are student mentors who want to continuous challenge themselves, to step out of their comfort zones to help the new students. These bring warmth to my heart that the students are so motivated and have great aspirations. It takes one to be have an open mind and not to be influenced by the stigma that is attached whether to a type of school or in this case, stigma for those person living with dementia and for those providing caregiving as well.
I feel we should address the STIGMA of caregiving. Caregiving should not be burdensome. With the reduction of stigma, maybe more Singaporean will take up this role in this society, rather than delegate it solely to the foreign domestic workers. For those who has chosen this path or somehow are forced to take up this role because they are single and seemed more available, it should not be done with a bitter heart.
It took me some time, 5 years into my caregiving journey to learn some of the thoughts below.
Let me share these thoughts using the mnemonics STIGMA.
S : SHARE your journey. I am just doing that. Through the blog, through my family involved in caregiving. Through sharing informally with friends and family. Sharing helps me open up topics to speak to others about and it also helps me encourage some one else in the process.
T: THANKFUL for every little things. Gratitude rewires our brain. The benefits do not just stop there. Gratitude lowers your blood pressure, helps you sleep and even raises your self esteem. I have just recently completed my Caregiver’s 30 Days of Thanksgiving. During the 30 days, I have to choose to write down one thing that I am thankful rather than being quick to write down one thing I am unhappy about.
The more I express gratitude, the more plentiful the gratitude becomes. My mind becomes more atuned to things to give thanks for, rather than complain.
I: INQUIRE about the disease. Just like if someone has hypertension (high blood pressure) or diabetes, I would learn more about the disease so that I can better manage it. I over heard a person saying :”I wished I will never get Dementia” However, it is not a death sentence. It is a learning process to embrace a new journey. The disease may open up to the creative part of the brain even if the intellectual or memory part of the brain deteriorate.
G: GIVE myself time to learn about caregiving. For those who are suffering from this disease, give yourself time to accept and face this challenging journey. I may not get it right in my five years of caregiving. However, I will continue to learn and improve in my caregiving journey.
M: MAKE it fun! One of my friend’s 80 plus year old mother and her two maids have fun rolling pineapple tarts this Chinese New Year season. It is a delicious bake and I cannot wait to taste it at her house.
A: ASHAMED no more. Be proud that I am a caregiver. I am called to be a caregiver at times like this. I am not ashamed to tell others that my mother has dementia. I am not ashamed to invite my friends to my flat and introduce them to my mother.
Will you REMOVE STIGMA in your caregiving?
Let us do something fun during the festive season of Chinese New Year. Our person living with dementia can still participate in simple things or even for those who are bedbounded, we can do simple things like switching on the Chinese festival music and engage them through non verbal cues like touch, smell, sound.
Happy Chinese New Year to all my caregivers, my readers.
Keep Thriving.
Comments