I remembered watching the Navillera in 2021 with my daughter. It was on Netflix and it was about an elderly man who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease. What impacted me and spurred a serious conversation with my daughter was that the main character Sim Deok-chool did not let his family know about his diagnosis.
The drama showed how he was determined to reach his unfulfilled dream of performing Swan Lake on Stage. It also charted the progression of his disease where he showed signs of confusion and how he got lost in an aquarium. As he did not let his wife and family know about his disease, they could not understand how he got lost in the aquarium.
I felt that Deok-chool could have shared with his family about his dream and his diagnosis. His reluctance to inform his family about his diagnosis denied them the opportunity to accept the diagnosis and possible interventions that could have slowed down the progression of Alzheimer's disease. Most dementia sufferers like Alzheimer's disease (except for frontal temporal dementia which can be of shorter prognosis), on an average, may live for 3 to 11 years from the day of diagnosis. It has a slow trajectory which provides the family time to accept the diagnosis and to explore important decisions together like fulfilling any dreams, the kind of quality of life they desire and where they wish to die-whether at home or in a nursing home. These are things that are considered a taboo to talk about in an Asian culture.
As a caregiver of a person living with dementia, I have learnt to accept the diagnosis. However, I still struggle at times as I witness her deterioration and at times grieved at how she has changed.
Unlike Deok-chool's family, I was able to get her diagnosed in 2017 and to have opportunity to discuss and get her to do her Advance Care Planning with her Geriatrician. She is also receiving continued early interventions so that she can continue to walk with assistance, self toilet and feed herself.
After this episode, my daughter told me with a stern face. Mum, if you ever obtained a dreadful diagnosis, please do not hide it from us. We are in the journey together. Indeed, my heart is warmed when I heard this, because it is just like the vow I took with her dad, whether in sickness or in health, for better or for worse. As a family, we can face the storms in life better. No one should be alone in the journey of a difficult diagnosis.
Indeed, we all need one another (family and friends) as we journey through the ups and downs of life. Bonds strengthened and we grow together through these experiences. In fact, we become "more human"