It has been a long two years and more. When first Singapore imposed a lockdown in March 2020, the dementia day care was closed for a month.
When the centre is closed, the caregiving falls entirely on my family’s shoulders. While we switch to working from home for work and school, the caregiver stress and burden increases as there was no respite for an entire month.
While we were urged to keep our elderly at home, the fear of the virus and in an effort to keep her safe, we did not allow her to go for her morning walks to her favourite food centre. This further disrupts her normal routine and increased her confusion at home.
Though there were once a week virtual rehabilitation sessions and activities conducted through online platforms by the staff of the dementia centre to engage her, it was my observation that mother’s cognitive and physical function continue to decline.
As we are living in a very small flat and there were hardly space for the five of us - both my teenager children are on home based learning and had to attend lessons online, while we worked from home. This lack of space and close proximity increased friction between the family members. The fear of virus transmission to my unvaccinated niece meant my mother could no longer visit her favourite granddaughter.
Just like the picture of the sloth hanging on the tree, the image was drawn by daughter Jasmine who has been fundraising for Focus for the Family Singapore through the sale of her hand drawn cards. The sloth was a reminder and encouragement during my difficult times of pandemic. To hang on and not to give up. The storm will soon be over and there will be light at the end of the tunnel.
"Even as we struggled through the pandemic as a family, I realised there are families having it tougher. I wanted to encourage a worthy charity like Focus on the Family Singapore by giving from the sales of my postcards, so that they can continue to serve families in the community." --Jasmine Liong
In 2022, the omicron strain of Covid-19 spread in the community. As soon as my mother returned back to her day care centre, we had to increase the ART testing when she comes home because of close contact with positive cases. I struggled with getting her back to this new normal while wanting to keep her safe.
When my husband became infected with covid19, it was also stressful trying to keep her from getting infected.
On hindsight, I am grateful that mother was still able to stay healthy and active.
The virus has a greater impact on those who are admitted to hospital for acute episodes or those residing in nursing homes.
The restrictions set in place for nursing home and hospital during the months of February and March 2022 mean that on-site visitation were not allowed. Those caregivers who visit daily to nursing homes or hospital to feed their dementia relatives are no longer able to do so. Volunteers who bring good cheer to the hospital patients or nursing home residents are not allowed to continue in order to reduce the spread of infection to high risk patients. On-site visitation turn virtual.
However, this is especially difficult for those with advanced dementia because communication is minimal. This further increased the isolation that the residents or patients feel and thus may worsen their rate of recovery in acute illnesses. There may be a decrease in weight due to possible increased risk of Low moods, loneliness and isolation.
I am grateful to Grief Matters who conducted their workshop on "Journeying through the pandemic with arts and music". The 2 hour workshop allows me to produce the above drawing, a time of reflection of my 2 years pandemic journey.
I remembered how my emotional bank was nearly dry during March, April 2020. However, things turn for the better as I decided to work part time in April 2021. It was then I discover new hobbies and interest, investing in self-care strategies so that I am in a better position to care of my family. It ranges from experimenting with bread making, pizza and planting basils for home made pesto, boiling the harvested blue pea flower for my blue nasi lemak.
I remembered taking the step of faith and courage to call up Dementia Singapore and looked for a caregiver support in November 2021. There was an interest group for "Strum and Sing" lessons. There I met a lovely group of ladies who are caregivers and also a very approachable and kind music teacher who is so patient with us.
Through little ways, my emotional cup is filled again.
My learnings:
My cup is filled and I hope that my cup will overflow so that it can touch and encourage my readers.
That I am NOT ALONE. Even when you or I feel alone, we are not alone. Everyone goes through different experiences during the pandemic but I believe we will emerge stronger, braver. Sharing my experiences here is therapeutic and I hope it brings encouragement to you. Let us take courage and make a difference in this journey of caregiving. Learning to care for ourselves and to make every day count.
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