Knowledge your feelings. Not denial.
According to Debra Fileta, a professional counsellor, podcaster, speaker,
In her podcast, she mentioned that not acknowledging the areas that we have difficulties and are repressing the feelings, there will come a point where it would hit us and bring us down, especially the hard things that we are not dealing during these two years living with COVID-19.
Facing your true feelings and your current state of mind is one step forward to getting the right kind of help.
Margin by Richard A. Swenson, M.D. best seller with over 225,000 sold, spoke on 14 tips on restoring on emotional energy. He said it is important to understand our emotional reserves. It is important to understand how much we have at the beginning of each day and which influences drain our emotions dry or recharge our batteries. It is important to learn what our limits are, and not to make further withdrawals if we are already maximally depleted. And it is important to respect these limits in others.
How do I know if I am losing margin in my life?
1) Missing appointments
2) Increased irritability and frustration, easily triggered by small interruptions.
3) Reacting to situation rather than being intentional or calm.
4) Losing my patience, being angry with my mother (the one I provide caregiving) and with my family
It happened recently this week: What I did to restore my own margin
I retreat to my own room at night (after ensuring that she took her medications and conducted wound care for her ingrown toe nail)
Rest in bed
Binge watch dramas. I avoid soap operas that are too reflective of our daily lives but enjoy comedy that bring laughter. Based on an article by Psychology Today, humor can make stressful situations better. The Benefits of Humor: Laughter boosts feel-good chemistry of serotonin and dopamine. Humor has a positive effect on mental, physical and spiritual wellbeing.
Cultivate social support
Over this long weekend
I am grateful for chatting with a friend and listening to her for one hour.
Impromptu dinner with a close family friends
Making a new dish : flatbread and serving it with curry
The satisfaction of acquiring a new skill and using it to serve my guests. Enjoy the friendships. The joy of seeing my children minggle with theirs.
5. Create Appropriate Boundaries (as shared in previous blog on How to Set boundaries to prevent Caregiver Burnout)
6. Offer Thanks : journal and create gratefulness list
7. Reflect on my anger : Anger is energy released to defend something you love or when things are not going the way you want it to go, when you feel out of control. That night, I let go of my anger towards my mother because I knew it happened due to her illness and it is not causing any immediate harm.
8. Sleep : Have sufficient sleep. I felt better the next morning, more refreshed and energised to face the challenges or opportunities of the day. A new morning. A new chance, to do things better.
9. Not packing my long weekend (3 days) with activities
Leaving room in my schedule to say yes to important relationships or unexpected events
10. A rainbow seen during one of my morning walk just helps me envision a better future. A vision of being a Thriving Caregiver. Not perfect but still thriving.
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